


Harper’s Bazaar China June 2018 Issue | Zhang Yixing: What Is More Important Than Maturity Is Carrying and Bearing Responsibility

by Hornet394



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Gen, Harpar's Bazaar, Interviews, Official article, Translation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-19 18:26:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14878946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hornet394/pseuds/Hornet394
Summary: Translation ofHarper’s Bazaar China June 2018 Issue with Zhang Yixing





	Harper’s Bazaar China June 2018 Issue | Zhang Yixing: What Is More Important Than Maturity Is Carrying and Bearing Responsibility

**Harper’s Bazaar China June 2018 Issue**

**Zhang Yixing: What Is More Important Than Maturity Is Carrying and Bearing Responsibility**

In June, when the major music festivals compete for and explodes on to the scene, Bazaar has brought you the energy-filled music themed cover issue. The singer, actor, producer Zhang Yixing, who is still "sexy yet cute" in the eyes of his fans, is on the path of going international as "Changsha's little pride". From “Little Sheep” to “PD Zhang”, from busily making “the second child” during filming breaks to “SHEEP” reaching the ninth position on the iTunes World Album Chart and becoming the highest ranked Chinese album and Chinese singer, he has been growing at an alarming rate. Under his prestigious status, he knows that there is no end to the "hard work, hard work and more hard work", and even has the rare clear mind in knowing: "for me, men are not differentiated by maturity or immaturity, but only the ability to carry and bear responsibility."

Prior to seeing Zhang Yixing, it was hard to not bring the preconceived impression of him from the media, be it the “Little Sheep” with confusion in his eyes in "Go Fighting", or the "PD Zhang" who walked with wind in his steps in "Idol Producer." Both were far from the silhouette of the person who followed the staff moving props into the studio, dressed in a black shirt, black pants, and hat down low. At Live House, the photoshoot location, the only natural light source was the skylight, but it was covered with a black cloth, and the darkness within the room made identification difficult unless done face to face. If it wasn’t for his repeated bowing and saying “hello, how are you?”, it would have been difficult to recognize that this was Zhang Yixing.

Turning past the narrow stairwell decorated with signatures of band name, the scene in front suddenly brightened up. The glass house with wooden frames was sunny and transparent, and as it was the beginning of hot days in Beijing, Zhang Yixing removed his hat and jacket, clad in only a bright red short-sleeved tee. Propping one leg up and leaning on the sofa, during conversation his gaze was always straightforward and unwavering, demanding the immersion of both parties in the focus shown within. 

He is not someone who shies away from analyzing himself, and keeps a habit of recording his life. From time to time, he publishes "small essays" on Weibo. Constant self-exploration has made him understand that compared to maturity, to carry and bear is the more solid form of support for a man; this also allows him to become fully aware of his strengths and weaknesses, yet also puzzles him, “living in this world, the most unfamiliar person to yourself is probably yourself."

 

 _ **“Cute” has no other source but naivety, inexperience, and insecurity**_  


“Have you seen me say my ‘motto’?” He suddenly leaned forward with slight anticipation in his eyes. In the newest episode of ‘Idol Producer’ that broadcasted before the interview, a phrase Zhang Yixing said had caused discussion in social media. “Some people will say you are pretending. I can pretend for a whole life. Then this is who I am, no?” He had always been straightforward with his words, and tried hard to analyze the bottom of his heart, and as viewers sweated for him, they also praised, “Zhang Yixing is daring in what he says.”

This phrase arose from indignation, to directly oppose misunderstanding and biases. In ‘Go Fighting’, his image of the “little sheep” was doubted. And as Zhang Yixing went back to rewatch his own performance in the first episode of the first season, he also burst into laughter, unable to deny the truth that he used to be foolish. “Other people thought it was cute, I know where it came from. It came from my naivety, inexperience, and insecurity.” He did not spare anything in exposing himself. “There was no other way, those geges _(T/N: older brothers in Chinese)_ are older than me by decades, so I got exposed to no end there.” From becoming a trainee at seventeen, to debuting at twenty-one, Zhang Yixing’s life was left with simply practice. It was the “Go Fighting gang” that led him “closer to the thought process of normal people”. Through the four seasons of special training, he evaluated his own strengths, then cautiously predicted, “can they still ‘trick’ me like that now? Not necessarily.”

Some people do not understand how there is such a huge difference between the Zhang Yixing in the two different shows. Zhang Yixing’s thoughts about his so-called images are more down to earth. “People have different facades, different modes.” When you are with different people, you activate different modes. He is “the little sheep”. He is “PD Zhang”. He is also the twenty-seven year old man chatting non-stop in front of me right now. The changes in perception are only due to being placed in a new environment and showing responses that are previously unseen.

“Oh my god! This is a subject that I have studied for more than ten years in! How can it be that I would not be able to speak about that?” ‘Idol Producer’ involves singing, dancing, and even an idol’s self-management. “It does not matter which area is analyzed, at the bottom of it, I have basics down in all of these areas.” In the trainees, he sees himself when he had first debuted. Zhang Yixing hopes that they will get better and better professionally. Just like a class’ teacher, he leads his “students” in meticulously learning every dance move, sits down as he explains his creative thinking process, and also worries that “as more and more people know them, they will get lost due to the multitude of things, just like myself in the past, unable to find their main focus.” As someone who has walked that path, Zhang Yixing does not hold anything back in giving his experience to these youths who have just begun their journey. This is also the switch between Zhang Yixing’s dual facades, “on the stage, you can be as cool and swag as you want, but once off stage we must be humble. Being polite is basic.”

“Can be handsome and can be cute”, this is the summary fans have given Zhang Yixing’s different modes. “Handsome” refers to the aloof aura and having a different kind of charm; “Cute” is, as always, Zhang Yixing’s cheeks slight baby fat and deep dimples, still exactly the same as Huanhuan, his role in the television drama “We The People” (literal translation) at six years old. He keeps shyly convincing fans to not dig up these old photos, but when fans cry “Huanhuan is our most beloved” he will respond accordingly with “Huanhuan will not lie to grandma” _(T/N: fans are saying a line from the drama and Yixing responded with the line after the one they said)_.

In his own eyes, Zhang Yixing’s initial intentions have not changed, only that the weights he is carrying on his shoulders continue to stack up. “Every man, no matter how old he is, want to be like a child. Right now, I am not mature either. I like to play just like a child. To me, men are not distinguished by whether they are mature or not, only by what they carry and bear.”

 

_**Fighting with Zhang Yixing’s time** _

 

“Work hard, work hard, and work harder”, as Zhang Yixing’s Weibo display name, this has become his most distinct label. The two words, “hard work”, are easy to say, but to practice it constantly, without ever changing, requires a desperate desire backed by anxiety and self-discipline, and even lacking in one of these would not be enough. Zhang Yixing has done it, and the energy that follows has congregated into an orbit, attracting those who are working hard like him or people who want to work hard. The Weibo post of a fan points out the truth. “Following Xing is great, when Zhang Yixing worked hard, it is as if I worked hard as well, and afterwards I can continue being a salted fish _(T/N: Slang for a person who is an extremely ordinary and unsuccessful in life)_ with self-assuredness.” Fans who are borrowing on the energy Zhang Yixing gives them to move forward want to see, as their forerunner, to what level Zhang Yixing’s talent can be fulfilled through hard work.

Fighting with the heavens, fighting with the earth, fighting with Zhang Yixing’s time, this is a phrase that is often uttered by Zhang Yixing and the members of his studio. All work invitations must first pass through the obstacle of his schedule. Only music has exclusive rights to seep into the cracks of the sponge of time like water. That Zhang Yixing composes between interviews, and writes songs at midnight after filming ends is not news. During the filming for the movie ‘The Island’ that Huang Bo directed, he has been complained of by a tired (actor) Yu Weihe, “I have three big scenes to film today, god knows who was going ‘boom boom boom’ in the middle of the night.” Recently, there is the added item of learning English, and he ended up bringing his English teacher along with him. He practices it everywhere he goes, in the waiting room it was as bustling like a tri-nation conference.

Even the Zhang Yixing who claims to be hot-blooded, who always has his air condition set at sixteen degrees all year round, has moments of tiredness after battling for long. Two days ago he went to dance class and for the whole four hours in the afternoon, he found that he could not focus at all. The second day, another four hours, the same thing happened. Was it because he has gotten busier? Did he became unwilling to do this? Too tired? Was his attention on too many things? He sat down and thought deeply on it and eliminated the reasons for those eight hours of slacking. Abnormal things in his routine that slow down work progress is not within the boundaries of what he allows.

“I hope that I really don’t get injured, because getting injuries gets in the way of singing and dancing. I still haven’t had my concert, I can’t collapse yet.” Zhang Yixing’s wishes and worries are all due to a rather “geeky” thought. “I am afraid that I will become old before I have accomplished all of my dreams.”

Rather to say that motivation is what inspires his hard work, most of it is pressure that he has “imagined” for himself. On Zhang Yixing, there is no care or taboo around the words “thing of the past”. “I know that one day I will fall completely, I won’t have as many fans as before, I won’t have any of this.” He takes this clear concept as a fact. “Doesn’t everyone think like that? Others know it as well, they just don’t talk about it.” As long as the possibility of being forgotten by the public exists, it is more than enough to bring him urgent anxiety.

“I have a lot of energy I haven’t used. Before I fall, I want to go to the peak.” The so-called peak may seem abstract, but there is a very substantial and clear standard. “I want to do a real world-tour.” Zhang Yixing has already rehearsed his concert a million times in his mind. From very early on he had started collecting set photos of stages overseas, lighting arrangements, the angles of the lasers, the use of LED screens. “I want to let the world see, in China, on our own land, a most excellent concert, and give my fans a most impactful live.”

“Doing these things will make you even more tired, do you worry about this?”

“How can that be? This is what I like to do the most!” His pitch suddenly rises, revealing an expression of incredulity. “When there is one day I can no longer work hard, I will change my Weibo display name to Zhang Yixing.”

 

_**Music is the supporting point of my confidence** _

 

When it comes to music, Zhang Yixing’s words cannot be stopped. “I’ll let you listen to the movie accompaniment music that I made.” He takes his phone out and presses the play button. After the tune ends, he immediately asks for the audience’s comments. “How is it? Isn’t there the imagery of marching into war?” EQ, bass line, scalestep, groove...when these professional terms pop out of him one by one, Zhang Yixing has already immersed himself into another world and becomes high spirited. He does not treat making music as a job, but as a career that he is willing to do for life.

“Music is the supporting point of my confidence. I couldn’t have even guessed that people would call me a variety show star. When I heard it I was so sad.” His confidence in music came from the fact that he does everything, including lyrics, melody, arrangement and even cover design and inside page images. The order of the ten songs were designed carefully, the songs at the front were more easily approachable, the songs at the back were more experimental. The last song was exceptionally important, “The tenth song I put was X Back”. Compared to other albums, which can have four or five rows of names of producers, when ‘Sheep’ was released, after the word Producer on the copyright page, there was only one name, Zhang Yixing.

The “problem” with doing everything himself are the practice songs that even he himself cannot bear to revisit. When mentioning ‘Airport of Tears’, the earliest self-made song by Zhang Yixing available on music platforms, everyone in the lounge bursts into laughter. “Everyone, don’t laugh, I must make the music platforms take that thing down.” Zhang Yixing makes this “horrible soft threat” jokingly. As its “father”, he still needs to defend this product of his that contained real emotions. “The song is still good to hear, but the arrangement is so bad, the arrangement, oh my god, I can’t.”

On Mother’s Day last year, Zhang Yixing’s mother posted screenshots of an email from 7 years ago on Weibo. There was no text in the email, only a song attachment file. The song name was simple. It was titled “The Song of Mother’s Day.”, befitting the preference of Zhang Yixing wanting to name the ten songs in his album with numbers according to their order. The bracketed part behind the song title was eye-catching. “Mom, I have nothing more to write that is not in this song.” _(T/N: this was written in Changsha dialect)_ On paper, the phrase of Changsha dialect appeared unexpected and comical. With the dark past being revealed by such an authority figure without warning, Zhang Yixing could only reply in resignation, “...It’s difficult on the path of music. There is even mom digging up old news.”

After gaining enough skills, the clumsiness of the initial start would just be a part of experience. ‘Sheep’, the “second son” born amidst obstacles and disapprovals, achieved dazzling results, going onto ninth of the iTunes World Album Chart, and Zhang Yixing subsequently became the first Chinese singer to reach top ten of the foreign iTunes album chart. This album is printed with coated art paper, with over three hundred pages within and weighing almost 1kg, it is a literal “ heavyweight level” album. “A lot of fans say buying this album was like lifting weights.” Zhang Yixing covered his face and laughed on the sofa. The fixed price of 107 RMB was a bit of a limit on the producer’s imagination. “In making my ‘third child’, I have a lot of ideas that cannot be accomplished within this price, but the date of October 7th is very important to me, I still hope to keep the original price.”

One of Zhang Yixing’s friends comments that he is like Zhang Wuji _(T/N: a character from the novel ‘The Heaven Sword and Dragon Saber’)_. He combines all four great martial arts, using each sect’s own strengths against themselves. Zhang Yixing puts this analogy against himself and finds it fitting. He is well accustomed to Chinese music as a child. From collaborating with music makers overseas since seventeen, to creating his own music now, he had been trying hard to combine and integrate. “From thirteen, when I realized I was passionate about music, until now, twenty-seven-” He pauses, a bit surprised. “I’m twenty-seven already? From thirteen to twenty-seven, I have combined all of the things together and created new styles. I’m constantly improving. I am especially thankful to that gege for giving me this description.” Each album, each single, the histories that congregated together, these are all the proof of growth.

 

_**I am the master of being conflicted** _

 

I think too much. Zhang Yixing thinks like this.

At age six or seven, he imagined himself as a chick who could never break his shell open. He could feel the world around him, he would lift his hand and he could feel the boundaries, but the boundaries are strong, and the small chicken, whose feathers cannot be spread, whose bones are weak, is tightly suppressed within _(T/N: based on excerpts from Yixing’s autobiography Independent 24)_. This kid who is throwing sandbags _(T/N: a Chinese children’s game)_ occasionally has the dizziness of being amidst strong winds. “Are everything just the dreams of a sleeping little chick who cannot ever break its shell open?”

At age fifteen, he who already won the third place in “Star Academy” _(T/N: a talent search show Yixing participated in)_  left the stage. He suddenly left the cheer and applause, and often woke in the middle of the night. It was quiet all around him, there were only the sounds of his thoughts becoming louder and louder. “What am I? What am I doing? Is Zhang Yixing going to be like this in the future?”

Now, he lives the life of “the man in the sky”, his home everywhere in the world. He casually says, “After a few decades, I will find my real belonging...” He also needs to plan for “a few decades” later, having five or six children, but just one daughter. “About daughters, I’m afraid that I would adore her too much, I would spoil her too much. If I don’t spoil her in the right way, she would become the needy princess type. There are more things to worry about with daughters.”

He categorizes himself as a typical Libra. Conflicted, indecisive, flighty, he can spend an hour ordering take-out. “I am he who is the master of being conflicted. Thanks to my horoscope, since I am a Libra, I am conflicted. I think people who study horoscopes are quite good. They always create some excuses for the mistakes we make.”

Caring for the big picture, this is the advantage he finds in his horoscope. “Libra emphasizes on balancing everyone’s relationships.” When he sees female celebrities in high heels needing to go down steps, Zhang Yixing will immediately reach his arm out to support her; When filming in Ukraine, he doesn’t forget to buy a mermaid toy for Sun Honglei’s daughter’s 100 day commemoration; The “X-Back” sticker that fans gives to his assistant immediately appears on the back of his hand. It is “ZhangPD ” who gives trainees rankings, who needs to consider the relative ability between the contestants, the other mentors’ overall evaluation, and the distribution of results; It is also “Zhang PD” who gives red packets to trainees after the Chinese New Year. The other side of “thinking too much”, is considering all areas, taking care of those around him properly.

When reading Zhang Yixing’s “little essays”, you will find that he is often talking to “Zhang Yixing”. It is as if he withdraws himself from his body, watching, evaluating himself at this moment. Zhang Yixing is clearly a man of doubts. He doubts his existence and doubts his relationship with the outside world. Doubts often lands him between dilemmas. “Other people think you’re amazing. Don’t become prideful. After brainwashing yourself you still need to give yourself painful reminders.” Travelling between these two extremes has allowed him to find the mental balance.

Half a century ago, (French philosopher) Sartre has already explained that those living on earth must face nothingness. Thankfully, nothingness is actually the basis of motivation of actions. The anxiety brought by nothingness cannot be eradicated and can only be faced straight on. To Zhang Yixing, the way to get rid of nothingness is to look back at the path he tread. The moments spent in training, the empty underground practice room, he who wakes up in the middle of the night not knowing what to do. These shards of memories build the foundation that support his current life. “Compared to doubt from others, it is best for you to doubt yourself.” After all, you can solve your own doubt just by hard work.

 

_**When I can put down my ambitions** _

 

Zhang Yixing takes out a cup of strong tea and shakes it. There is the clinking sound of ice cubes knocking into each other as tea leaves rise up and swirl in the cup. He says thoughtfully, “The tea leaves are unable to settle down. This is my condition right now. Everyday I let myself spin and spin and spin, I cannot settle down.”

“Give me time / Give me space / Soak with the water of music / Give me time / Give me space / Please let me forget everything / I just want to be in this little room alone silently. _(Official lyrics from Relax)_ ”

Already in 2016, Zhang Yixing has expressed his wish in “Relax”. In a blink of an eye, it has been two more years of releasing massive contents. He wants to settle down, to improve. “I get frantic when I am not learning, just like this cup of water. I want myself to be more full. After becoming more full, it is relatively more steady.” Learning is not difficult to do, in the collaborative stage in ‘Idol Producer’, he has been able to go back to the days of being a trainee. What is difficult is to study in a professional musical school, for this means disappearing from public view for one to two years.

“Zhang Yixing can step down anytime. Why do I choose not to? It is human nature.” He cannot overcome the obstacle in his heart. “It is my ambition. When I can put down my ambition, I can go study anytime.”

No matter in what situation, he has always put down his ambition in front of everyone (to see clearly). He will say out loud what he want, he will not hide it. Even if he can only receive an award backstage, he can also declare with such strong words: “I will lead Chinese music into the whole world.”

“I want to release the next album in North America.” “I hope in the future when people bring up Chinese singers, I, Zhang Yixing, can be one of them.” “To let other countries know that there is a Chinese music artist called Lay Zhang.” All of these point to one commonality, which is to make Chinese music more international. His grandfather is a senior official in a state corporation. From a young age, symbols that have to do with the country, such as the national flag, have been stuck all over Zhang Yixing’s home. Under these influence, even till now his phone case has the design of the national flag.

This wish has taken a tiny step forward. When the TV drama ‘Golden Eyes’ was going to Ukraine for filming, on the first day when the plane landed, there was only one person waiting at the airport. The flowers swayed in the cold winter wind of Kiev, held by the tour guide the crew arranged. Zhang Yixing joked with Wang Yuexin, “Ge, from now on I have one more place I can travel to _(T/N: meaning since no fans are there, he can freely travel)_.” Unexpectedly, the street was packed with fans visiting the next day. “All of them were Ukrainian girls with blonde hair and blue eyes!” This situation persisted for the six days that followed. Photos of fans with Zhang Yixing were continuously uploaded onto social media. This caused Chinese fans to moan, why do Ukrainians have selfies with Yixing? For a young man of twenty some years of age to suddenly receive the adoration of so many foreigners, the part that most touched him was, “they told me in Chinese: Thank you for coming to Ukraine.”

It is not that Chinese fans do not get benefits. At one fansign, a fan told Zhang Yixing, I hope that I can play a song of yours at my wedding. ‘I Need U’ was born from that. During the filming of the MV, Zhang Yixing was troubled. Where could he find a couple that has a steady but also moving relationship? Huang Bo reminded him that all things cannot be compared to the real thing, and one real thing can cover up one hundred weaknesses. Zhang Yixing took a look, he had his grandparents right there. He called his grandfather to say, I want to bring you and grandma to Paris to film a music video _(T/N: Yixing said music video in English)_. His grandpa questioned: “What?" "Music video tape!"

In the music video, embracing each other on the bank of the romantic river Seine, his grandparents’ fairly rigid lifting of the hands showed how the older generations are not used to these intimate motions. In Zhang Yixing’s eyes, they do not have many extravagances. They also do not have colourful scenes of fantasy. They have walked through the rain and storm firmly for fifty years. “Love may be a habit. It is refreshing. It is a touching movie, a book, a song, a cassette. It is someone willing to do the same small thing for you for thousands of times.” He is envious of a relationship like this. Yet, his own feelings and relationships are still like looking for a flower in the hazy mist.

“We used to look down and do our own things in a confined environment. Now, I look down to do my own things and I lift my head to look at everything. I see a ray of light like this shining in.” He raises his head, lifts his hands above his head, his thumb and index fingers slot together to form a little window. The sunlight falls on his face through the window. In the air, there are a few dust particles spinning. “More transparent, I like it to be a bit more transparent. There aren’t any of those messy things appearing. I can see things that I couldn’t see before.” Growing up in a normal family, fighting monsters and improving himself. Until now, all he can rely on is himself, Zhang Yixing.

 

**Bazaar x LAY Q & A **

_Bazaar: What will you write in your little 10 years debut anniversary essay?_

Yixing: In 10 years there may be a fourth album, there may be _(solo)_ concerts. The  environment that I grew up in may not be that different from most people. It has really been like a process of kills and leveling up _(video game reference)_. I don't have much. My family members don’t have special aspects about them. Why do I always talk about these points? It's because I've discovered, I really grew up from a normal family. I’ve also joined competitive talent programs. I also have dreams. And while chasing them, I also found out that I will meet whatever types of cold shoulders, and I've encountered them. Some people don't think you’re great and other people will choose you. In that type of environment, you have to grow and learn things.

 

_Q: Does your mom understand your state of busyness?_

A: She's slowly understanding it. I'm still quite thankful _(referring to how busy he is)_ and mom's like this. Every time, she'll post a lot of 'thank you to fans' ( _type of post_ ). Actually our entire family has a grateful heart. Although we may get hurt, we will still face other people this way. Our family's upbringing is also about "to return good for evil" ( _phrase from Confucian Analects meaning repaying injury with kindness_ ). Our family's disposition isn't that great, but we’re very kind-hearted.

 

_Q: Are your grandparents relationship your ideal type of emotional predicament?_

A: I don't know what kind of emotional relationship I most long for.  A lot of people will ask this question and I don't have a way of giving the most accurate answer. It's because I also can't quite grasp it. I also don't really grasp the entire emotional world of relationships. What is it for in the end? What is a "forever" type of love in the end? What is "like"? What is "love"? Why separate? Maybe in couple of decades from now, I will then be able to understand when I find my actual destined (person).

 

_Q: In how many decades?_

A: I'm not saying I'll find the destined (person) in how many years or in how many decades, just that a relationship that really belongs me, will appear.

 

 

 

_Translated by @hornet394 and @layshands_

_Please do not repost without permission_

_Original article published on May 28th, 2018 and written by Xu Xiaoxian, Yang Wentie_

_Available at link: https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/VXl8KoI9GkFsMy-JeMEdwg_

  


 

 


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